Your bra color doesn’t matter

I am going to lose some friends here, but I don’t care.

Chris, a coworker, posted on Facebook that he didn’t care what color women’s bras were… Sort of a random comment from him (some people I know could say that and I wouldn’t have raised an eyebrow) so I figured that he was up to something. Evidently women are doing it to support breast cancer.

If you want to post your bra color, fine. Go crazy. But don’t pretend it support breast cancer. Stop it. In no way does it support or raise awareness (at least by itself). Stop thinking that simply wearing a plastic bracelet means you support a cause. Or that turning your twitter icon green is going to free Iran from tyranny. Or having a flag makes you more patriotic than someone, or support the troops more (paying taxes isn’t the same as charity, even though it feels like it). Or that having a ribbon on your car to support any number of causes is making a difference… STOP IT. There are two ways to support a cause: time and money. Sure, the LIVEstrong campaign was amazingly successful (raised a ton of money $1 at a time), but now every single organization wants to have a bracelet.

The issue is that we want to make a difference without having to do the work or make the sacrifice. We are no different than kids getting trophies for finishing last. We want to feel good. Supporting a cause feels good, just like winning (or being given) a trophy does. You want to wear the bracelet? Have the ribbon on your car? Post your bra color? DO SOMETHING. And maybe you do. I usually wear a white bracelet for the ONE organization, but this is an organization I support in ways beyond wearing a bracelet. Many people have causes they support. Keep it up. Donate your time. Become a big through Big Brothers and Big Sisters. Being a big has been amazing and there is a HUGE waiting list, especially for boys, to find matches. Maybe you can’t commit time that consistently. Find something. Anything. You have time. You have a few extra bucks. You do. You might not think you do, but you do. You can make that time. I promise that the feeling you get posting your bra color is nothing compared to the feeling you get when you actually truly make a difference.

Maybe the bra thing is just fun for people (I don’t wear a bra so I don’t know if it would be fun to share information about it), and if it is that is fun. Just don’t pretend you are supporting anything (that is almost a joke) by sharing it. I wish every single person that posted their bra color would go a cancer site (doesn’t have to be breast cancer, they get most of the love) and donate a few bucks. That is making a difference.

(Lynn I apologize for typos, I didn’t really proofread today either).

Goals and resolutions for 2010

These are my goals and resolutions for the new year. Perhaps my wife will have a few more for me. Sometimes the best way to develop goals and ‘things to improve upon’ is to ask those closest to us.

Find some new music

As much as I love the Counting Crows, I need to find some new music.

Sadly, my musical tastes haven’t really changed since I was I was a kid/teenager. Browse through my Ipod and you will see that over 50% of the songs are Dave Matthews Band, Bob Dylan and Counting Crows songs… You don’t have 5 different versions of your favorite song? I do… One goal for this next year is to find a few new bands that I like, and I am accepting recommendations. I might give ‘The Strokes’ a shot… we will see.

Be more social

This will be tricky since I realized the other day that almost all of my friends from this past decade will have moved away once Joe leaves for law school. This puts some of my best friends in Phoenix, San Francisco, Columbus and Hawaii. This doesn’t even include my friends that live in Madison (which isn’t that far, but too far to meet up for a game on a whim). I want to be more social. I am not ready to give that part up yet. The smoking ban goes into effect this year, so that might help. Perhaps now that our house is getting put together we can gave ‘game night’ over here. Who knows. This is a goal I will need some help with though.

Please note: one of my resolutions is NOT to stay up late more often. Let’s meet somewhere in the middle.

Find a church home

Finding a church to call home in the Milwaukee area has been very hard. I loved my church in Madison so much that nothing else seems to compare. We have tried a few places around here, but none compare. Eventually I suppose you just need to make due with what you have. I am just so fussy with churches (which I think is a good thing), and most seem to be pretty high on the ‘hypocritical Christian’ scale… So while temporary, I think finding a church home is a good goal for 2010.

Figure out a path

I need to know where I want to go in life professionally. I teeter back and forth between a few paths: staying in higher education, going more into business, or doing something else. What I do know, is that I need more goals and direction. That is on me, so that is my goal.

Try Yoga

Everyone that does Yoga raves about it. Everyone that doesn’t do yoga makes fun of it. I wonder why that is… Anyways. As I age (laugh all you want) I need to find ways for my body to not completely break down. Why not?

Read more, watch less

I have three huge fiction books I want to read this year: New York(about halfway done), Sarum, and Chesapeake. Yes, I am on a historical fiction kick, so don’t even start… Anyways, I want to read/finish all of these, hence why I want to read more, and watch less TV.

Be a better husband

I don’t say this to kiss up to the wife (she doesn’t read this anyways), I say it because being married is a lot of work. I know! When someone says that everyone starts to whisper ‘uh oh, their marriage must be terrible if he thinks it is work!’ No, it isn’t. I love being married.  Being married to a resident is a little difficult, but every marriage/relationship has it’s unique obstacles. I just know that I can do a better job by being more supportive and easier to live with.

Slim down the budget

Katie and I are very cheap, at least we like to think we are. Even still, we have areas where we spend too much money and need to keep better track. I love using mint.com to manage and monitor our expenses. Katie loves to use a abacus and a check register. We all feel like we don’t have any money. The first step to having more money is learning where it all goes. To me, you can’t complain unless you are willing to track every single penny you spend.

Go somewhere

My wife loves to travel, I am a homely person that fears crossing state borders out of Wisconsin (not entirely true, but people say it). I want to take Katie somewhere this year, even if simply to visit some of our friends that live someplace else. With her schedule easing up a bit we should be able to make it work.

Play more golf

I love playing golf. There are few things that make me happier than throwing the clubs on my back and walking 18 holes on a nice day. Sadly, with Joe leaving for law school, I don’t have a golf buddy anymore. That will definitely be the biggest obstacle. Luckily, golf is fun enough that people are usually willing to put up with me to play.

Put up the mail box

Did any of you watch ‘The Cosby Show?’ Remember how the doorbell never worked and Cliff always said that he would fix it? Well that is sort of my relationship with our mailbox. When we moved into our house we bought a new mailbox since the old one just sits on the porch… Well the mailbox isn’t up. It needs to be. Putting the mailbox up has been on my ‘honey-do’ list every weekend and I am determined to put the post in and the mailbox up. I will even say it will be up by Memorial Day.

Practice my German

I used to speak German pretty well, but since graduating from college have lost most of it. This year I want to practice more German. At some point Katie and I will go to Germany (go to a Bayern Munich game!) and I want to be able to at least say SOMETHING in German and not embarrass myself.

There are my resolutions, what are yours?

My dad, smoking, and more

Going to try something a little different…

One year ago today

Last year on December 27th my dad suffered a serious stroke, even needed to have brain surgery to remove a clot (or something) from his brain. Was terrifying. Actually got to see him today, unexpectedly, and I am proud of how far he has come since being released from the hospital. I remember being in his rehab sessions with him last January and fearing what sort of life he would lead moving forward… Granted, my family would have taken anything since we didn’t even think we would get that far… My dad would be the first to admit he isn’t back to normal (I haven’t met a normal Marquart yet), but he is doing well. He is coping and adjusting very well. Very proud of him.

Play your starters

The Colts played their backups and lost to the Jets, losing their first game of the year. Great move if they win the Super Bowl (which I don’t think they will, not enough defense). I still wish they would have gone for the undefeated year. Each year a team wins the Super Bowl. Only once has a team gone undefeated. Go for history!

Profile already

I will be the first to admit that I don’t know everything about profiling people when screening them at airport security; however, it is about time we stop putting people at risk because of political correctness. This means we need to stop treating everyone the same when getting on a plane. Obviously if you ‘look’ like a terrorist, you are going to get checked more than a nun. When a 88 year old nun blows up a plane, then we can change our plan…

Political Climate

I am sick of people being so politically polarized. I heard a guy saying that Obama forgot about 9/11 and that is why this whole potential-terrorist plot happened. First, 9/11 happened on Bush’s watch. Second, I promise you Obama didn’t ‘forget’ about 9/11, no one has in any political party. Terrorism is hard to stop. No matter how focused on protecting the country a president is, you cannot stop everything. Luckily the citizens of this country did their job, and defended it. Let’s focus on the positive here and stop blaming Obama for everything. He isn’t the savior, nor is he the devil.

Soccer

I play in my first soccer game in almost five years this next week. I probably won’t be able to walk for a few days… Should be great.

She’s my Cherry Pie

Went and saw Cherry Pie last night. I love the music. I love people watching (old people rockin’, drinking, and dressing up like it is 1986!). I love everything about it. I highly recommend going to see them sometime if you enjoy bands like Poison, Bon Jovi, or Journey.

Smoking Ban

I cannot wait for the smoking ban to go into place next summer. The law itself is annoying. If you own a bar, you should be able to let people smoke inside it if you want to (smoking is still legal). That being said, I am very excited. Got home last night and had to shower because I smelled like smoke. You walked into the bar and were bombarded by the smell… It was terrible. I have no idea why people smoke. Yuck.

The Christmas dilemma

The biggest dilemma in our house (our first Christmas as a married couple!) revolves around the movie ‘A Christmas Story.’ This movie is one of the most polarizing Christmas movies out there. You either love it or hate it– there is zero middle ground. Perhaps this is a topic for all pre-marriage counseling. You know, right after you talk about finances and sex the pastor should ask, “now what are your views on A Christmas Story?”

Well, I love it. I think it is silly and funny. Obviously not a cinematic tour-de-force, but a fun way to spend some time during the Christmas season… Katie hates it. HATES IT. She finds it terrible, annoying, and not worth her time. We watched it together once. I turned it off a few minutes into it because Katie was just scoffing through the entire thing…

My brother Mike has always been the same way. He hates the movie. Cody, my younger brother, loves it. Similar fights would break out as Cody and I would turn on ‘24-hours of a Christmas Story’ starting on Christmas Eve.

So here we are… Christmas Eve. We have watched plenty of Christmas movies this season… White Christmas, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (my personal favorite), the original Grinch, Charlie Brown Christmas, Love Actually (Katie’s favorite), Frosty the Snowman, and who knows what else… Missing is ‘A Christmas Story.’ I offered to watch the movie by myself. Katie was all "I want to watch it together!" Yet Christmas Eve is here, and she is trying to talk me into watching Jack Black in ‘The Holiday." She kept pushing the movie back… and now that it is game time, she is balking. No good. I wonder how many marriages have failed due to this same issue? Thousands? Millions?

Being married is amazing. I totally recommend it. I love my wife more than I ever thought possible. I suppose if figuring out when to watch "A Christmas Story" is the worst part of being married that we will be OK.

My theory on Tiger Woods, cheaters, bad bosses, and destructive behaviors

So this rant is a little scatter-brained. Hopefully it will make some more sense as I write it down.

I want to know why so many people that are at the top of their field seem to fit similar personality types. I want to know if that is a good thing. I want to know if you need a certain personality to reach the top. I want to know if that should be encouraged.

This started with me listening to a theory on, shockingly, Tiger Woods. And it got me thinking that Tiger really isn’t that different from many people who have reached similar heights, and fallen to similar fates. Seems that most writers, politicians, actors, actresses, artists, musicians, business people… the list goes on… are strikingly similar.

Here is my theory. I think that in our current world, you need to be narcissistic to get to the top. You need to have a certain amount of selfishness. You need to believe that you are better than everyone else. You need to be extremely competitive. Perhaps most of all, you need to be willing to do what it takes to get to the top. I do not know why we would assume that all of these traits wouldn’t ultimately make up our personality. If you are super competitive on the court, field, or in the office, why wouldn’t you be super competitive at home with your wife? Or with friends?

Look at two of the greatest athletes of all-time, Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods. Both are extremely competitive, and both have had similar ‘life experiences’ (read: cheat on wives). I think that you have to think and believe that you are so good that you won’t lose. That you won’t get caught because that is losing. That you are better than the system. Not that you don’t have to play by the rules, but simply put, that you are good enough to not get caught by the people that enforce the rules. This is why I wouldn’t be shocked ONE TINY LITTLE BIT if it turned out Lance Armstrong was on PEDs. Why would we ever assume otherwise? Especially now that there is a serious potential that Tiger Woods used PEDs? Think of the rationale. Tiger hurt his knee and needed to recover. Nothing in life is more important to him than being the best golfer in the world. He has worked his entire life for that, why wouldn’t he cheat? Same with Lance. Which is more likely? That an above-average cyclist would get cancer, only to recover and suddenly become the greatest cyclist of all-time? Or that an above-average cyclist would get cancer, use steroids to recover from the cancer (perfectly acceptable behavior) and then realize the potential that PEDs might have in helping him transform himself into the greatest cyclist of all-time? Call me cynical, but I am not sure I have the heart to believe in Lance’s story anymore. I want to. I wanted to believe in Tiger.

This isn’t some rant to justify why I am not at the top of my field, or top of the world. This isn’t an effort to bash those that are on the top because I am jealous of their success. I just want to know if you have to be that way? When I thought about this today, and looked around, I couldn’t think of that many people that are successful and not willing to step all over other people to get there. And even the people that I perceive to be at the top, I don’t know them well enough to even know if they are like that. One thing I do know, is that I know plenty of ‘successful’ people that do whatever it takes to win and get to the top.

Sadly, so many people struggle to survive once they are there. Then, as my co-worker Amy pointed out, once you fall you don’t have people to catch you since you stepped all over so many people to get to the top. When you think about that, you will think of people that you know that fell, and that no one cared about once they fell from the top (or even slightly up the ladder of life).

With Tiger, we all jump out at the media. That since he was so secretive and closed off from the media for so long that they are simply getting him back. I don’t disagree, I just believe there is more to it. I think that the skill-set required to be ultra successful in fields, especially sports, creates this sort of flawed and dangerous personality. I believe that is why so many bosses are jerks. I think that is why so many politicians and athletes cheat (both professionally and personally). It might help explain some of the destructive tendencies of many artists and writers.

Feel free to poke holes through my theory now.

A short rant on smoking

A short rant today…

I would like to propose a new rule. I believe that if you smoke, you shouldn’t be able to use any government programs that pay you money.I am liberal enough to believe that government programs can be a good thing, I just want to limit their reach and eliminate abuse. Here is one way.

I am in the grocery store the other day and the person in front of me pays for her food with her food stamp card, and then uses cash to pay for her smokes. If you can’t afford food, why are you paying for cigarettes?

In a perfect world this person would have the brain and conscience to think, “I am evidently too poor to pay for food, so obviously I shouldn’t pay for cigarettes,” but obviously we live in a far from perfect world. So let’s make it more perfect! When you are placed on a government program (food stamps, disability, ETC.) you sign a form that within 6 months you will be 100% smoke free (cigarettes at least!). If you aren’t smoke free you lose your money, and we chop off an arm. I bet that would get people to stop smoking!

How pathetic is it that we have folks on disability (MEDICAL DISABILITY!) that still smoke? We have people that are perpetually sick, and yet they smoke. I have no problem with people that smoke. I have good friends that smoke. I have a problem with people that are sick all the time, that smoke, and can’t figure out why they are sick.

I know, I am insensitive. I don’t understand how addicting cigarettes and nicotine are… Blah blah. I get it, I simply am insensitive enough  not to care. I believe if I am paying for you or your child’s health care (like Badger Care), you give up the right to smoke. Don’t you at least owe the world that? If tax payers are paying you a salary because you are too disabled to work, you don’t get to smoke. If you ask me, this isn’t rocket science.

Lessons learned from Tiger and Brett

This has been a year of lessons (more on that to come in a future post), but perhaps no lesson has reverberated through the sports world more than the simple fact that you cannot trust athletes. Athletes, and really anyone in the public eye,are different than you likely perceive them (unless you already have reached the level of cynicism that I am quickly approaching). This is why I never want to meet the famous people whose talents I admire. People like Adam Duritz, Ben Sheets, Dave Matthews, Tom Hanks, ETC would only disappoint me if I were ever to meet them personally.

Let's hope Tiger isn't giving Peyton tips on anything other than golf.

This has been proven true by two athletes this year that I would have said hands down were different than others. Both Brett Favre and Tiger Woods were in my ‘they are genuine people despite being tremendously famous and wealthy’ category. This only shows how naive I was, and am. Both Brett Favre and Tiger Woods broke my heart this year. They were the last grasp I had that athletes, even if just a few, were normal people. I thought that you could be amazingly talented and still remain ‘normal.’ Nope. Fame, money, power… They all corrupt and change you. Eventually you exist in a different world. A world I never, and would never want to, understand. A world where you don’t wait in line. Where you always get what you want. Where people never say no. Just a totally separate world.

I think Tiger’s fall from grace is much more of a shock than Brett Favre’s cheating on Packer fans with the Vikings. I never thought Tiger was capable of his recent shenanigans. I always thought Tiger was smarter, that since his life has always been a one-way track to the position as the best golfer of all-time he would never ever in a million years do anything to risk that. I was so certain of this that last week when the news started to leak I actually bet one of my co-workers that Tiger didn’t cheat on his wife. The only rationale I had was that Tiger couldn’t be THAT stupid, no way. His life was a tunnel. His life was regimented. No way he would deviate from the plan. But it appears I, and many others, were DEAD wrong.

And of course we were. We believe athletes are different, but they aren’t. They are just as selfish and narcissistic as we are, but their addiction to themselves is fed by the adoration, obsession, and support of millions of fans. No one keeps their egos in check because anyone that tries can easily be deleted from their lives. Look at Tiger’s most notable friends—Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley—not exactly model husbands or citizens.

Obviously Tiger isn’t alone. Look at American hero Michael Phelps, perhaps the closest American athlete to Tiger Woods in terms of sheer dominance. Weeks after sweeping through the Olympics he was in the United States smoking weed and sleeping with hookers by the handful. He isn’t married, so not the same media blitz or drama (perhaps race has something to do with it?), but I still didn’t think Phelps would have done that when coming back. Not when he has so much to lose.

The lesson I learned here is that athletes, actors, and seemingly no one in a position of power or fame is who they appear to be. Their personas are simply crafted for you to believe they are something better, something more genuine and wholesome. In reality they are probably living a life similar to Mick Jagger or Jon Bon Jovi (rock stars don’t pretend to be wholesome). Brett Favre and Tiger Woods combined this year to teach me to appreciate athletes for their skills, but to never assume they are anything more. Looking back, I realize how foolish I was to ever believe anything else.

Malik, Katie and I go to the domes

Malik, Katie and I decided to hit up the Mitchell Park Domes yesterday. Trying to find ways to entertain an 8-year old when it is 30 degrees and you refuse to let him rot his brain all afternoon in front of the television… so we went to the domes against Malik’s wishes (he wanted to play Mario Cart).

Things did not start off well until we started to let Malik take some pictures with Katie’s camera. Turns out that little punker is quite the little photographer. And the bonus is that it only took a few times to teach him to hold the camera with TWO hands. Katie recently purchased a new camera, so she was a good sport (and really paranoid). Here are some of the pictures that we took (I don’t know who took which, but will label some of the ones I know Malik took).

 

Here is Malik with this ‘spider plant’.’

One of the domes was decorated for the holidays with a huge Christmas tree (probably a holiday tree but I don’t play that game). Malik took this picture of Santa. I told him to focus right on the middle of Santa.

Malik took this picture of the poinsettias near the Christmas Tree. 

Out in the corridors were these white trees. Malik took this picture.  Was pretty proud of him.

Malik loved the fish that were in the tropical dome so he really wanted to take a picture of them. We had four hands on the camera here because Katie would have stabbed me if we wrecked her camera (and rightfully so).

Malik and Katie

 

Me and Malik. I thought it was great that he told his actual brother that he had another brother who was bigger than him.

And lastly, here is Malik by one of the tropical plants. We started in the tropical dome, and went through it again before going home. At first Malik was pretty bored, but really got into it all once we let him use the camera (while still around my neck). He might not have had as much fun as he would have playing video games, but hopefully he learned a little something.

Another reason I hate PETA

Why can’t PETA be a more respectable organization? Why is that so hard for them? People would their causes if they didn’t chase after so many ridiculous causes.

Not too long ago PETA started a campaign to change the name of fish to sea kittens. Their argument is that people don’t eat kittens, people eat fish, so if you change the name of fish to sea kittens people will stop eating fish.

Campaigns like that has led normal people to completely discredit PETA.

PETA’s most recent high-publicity campaign is aimed at the University of Georgia. The Bulldogs use a live mascot name Uga (who is super-cute), and recently the 7th Uga passed away. PETA is demanding that instead of replacing Uga with another bulldog, that Georgia use a robot or dressed up mascot.

Their argument is that bulldogs have genetic deficiencies, one of which makes them struggle to breathe in hot, humid weather. So when Georgia plays outside (in Georgia!) they are putting the dog at risk.

PETA, please stop. I promise, like Georgia says, that they treat Uga very well. Better than most dog owners treat their dog. Dogs are pets. Get over it and instead of spending your resources fighting this, fight against actual cruelty towards animals because there it plenty of that out there. Stop worrying about sea kittens and Georgia’s mascot. Wouldn’t you make a larger difference if you could instead chase after real issues that normal people would support you with? Like dog fighting? Puppy mills? Or is it not about making a difference and more about getting press that you are after?

When being flat is good

The nerd in me loves to read/listen to how other companies operate. I am always fascinated by companies that think outside of the box, companies that don’t adhere to typical, rigid policies and ways of doing business. Then yesterday, while listening to the audio book for Tipping Point, I learned of the company W.L. Gore & Associates. You maybe know them from being the producers of Gore-Tex, but they make a ton of products. Despite being a large company (about 8,000 employees), they operate like a very small company and I thought I would share that with you (not really sure why, it just excited me).

Gore is corporate-socialism. Their company’s structure is flat, as opposed to most companies that have a strict, vertical hierarchy. Everyone has the same title of ‘associate.’ If you receive a business card from an employee, regardless of their level within the organization, all it says is their name, number, and ‘associate.’ Everyone has the same size cube/office. Their offices are also very unique because the lack of title provides a great deal of flexibility within an office. Employees collaborate at levels unseen at most companies of similar sizes. There isn’t the layers of management that prevents progress in most large companies. This allows Gore to adapt quickly, while their competition needs to ‘move things up the ladder.’

Perhaps the biggest reason that their culture works is that Gore limits their factory/office size to 150 employees. An office/factory typically houses an entire branch of the company. Tipping Point talked about how one of the industrial wings of the company was getting larger, so they moved into their own, self-contained building. This means that the products are designed and produced within the same building, so the people designing the product park, work, and eat lunch with the people building the product. Amazing opportunities for collaboration.Plus, employees in this flat-system hold each other accountable. There isn’t a need for middle management to micromanage employees because their employees work together and hold each other accountable. They are truly a team.

Why 150 employees? 150 is the number that Robin Dunbar determined is the maximum number of people that one can maintain a social relationship with. Once a group grows about 150, we start to have limited relationships, so Gore keeps the levels at 150 or below.

Gore’s system works. They are an industry leader, and their corporate culture is one of their main competitive advantages. People want to work there. Their employee turnover is 1/3 of their competitors, so why don’t more companies operate this way?

I don’t think enough companies could be genuine in operating this way. Too many egos. Too many employees are motivated by fancy titles and huge offices. They don’t always see the point of being successful if the success cannot be directly tied to them. Sharing the spotlight isn’t a huge priority in our narcissistic culture. Another benefit is that the company is privately held so they do not have irrational pressures from stockholders. Instead, they can operate, grow, and remain profitable their way.

I know most of the folks that read my BLOG could likely care less, but this is something that interests me very much. I love reading how companies like Gore and Google operate by their own rules. How they think and succeed outside of the box. As the economy becomes more global, and more competitive, companies need to find a competitive advantage. Gore and Google are annually ranked as a few of the top places to work. While these rankings are far from scientific (in my opinion), there is little doubt that companies like Google and Gore get their pick of who works there. They aren’t hurting for talent. They get the talent they want, and put that talent into corporate cultures that let them operate in ways to maximize their ability. That is competitive advantage and that is why companies like Google and Gore are succeeding regardless of the economic climate.